Historical Context
This type of protest
has been going around history through difficult situations but its based on the
same gesture. Ever since the 1700’s this
great country has had to fight for rights ad freedom. Its been going through different era’s to
understand the whole context you would have to study ad look through history
all leading to the 1070 bill.
Throughout history people have protested for
different things hat would lead up to there. Lets start I the 1860’s. The
beginning of the struggles for the African Americans. Slavery was necessary and
demanded. For our dear slaves running away and protests were really consequential.
It all came to beatings and terror. Our dear president opposed slavery. Due to his actions the
civil war started. Luckily the 13th amendment ended most of the whole thing and
all the slaves were free or so they thought. At this time freedom can mean
different things that we will come back to in a little bit. During that time
there was another different protest going along involving the ladies. This
protest was against giving them the right to vote due to all that. Later I the cent
after WW1 the freedom issue with the African Americans was being questioned due
to some issues. I’m talking about the civil rights movement the African Americans
may not be slaves anymore but they were really mistreated. There were really good examples for the
resistance like Rosa Parks Malcolm X and the leader of all Movements Martin
Luther King Jr. For 40 years everything
was good people came and went to the United States. But in 2001 the tragedy of
911 struck and the discrimination started ounce again. This time it was for the Immigrants or aliens
that came to the United States. A decade
later they created the SB 1070 to weed out all the Immigrants. Today the bill may
be goes but the movement continues.
In the SB 1070 Protest there isn’t any exact leaders
its just a bunch off differ people protesting to the government. The only leader through out time that stood
up high was Martin Luther king Jr. during the 1960’s MLK was leading the
movement witch got him thrown in jail and later assassinated.
The main goal of a protest is to perused and reason I any
situation big or small doesn’t matter you just got to balance the scale in my
opinion. Most protests are things
strikes arguments disagreements but there a had full of important protests
based on right discrimination religion anything violating the first amendment
of the constitution.
What’s funny thing is that the movement is
still going on but in a different way even after the law got revoked the public
still outraging there’s still discrimination but this time the protest expanded
because now its involving race and religion
Finally I’m going to conclude with this each protest
in the historic timeline has been a piece of the 1070 building it up more. But to be honest most of the country is made
up of Immigrants who came for a better life. Its start from the 1700s to
slavery women right civil rights and a lot more. Most of us are decedents of them all. Every era
expands our society. So if it weren’t for our previous protests this one right
here would have never been created.
Paragraph 1:
ReplyDelete• In the beginning of you first paragraph in which you state “this type of protest has been going around history…”, I would recommend that you specify which protest you are talking about. This would help the readers understand exactly what subject they are reading about. This will be your hook, essentially.
• “Ever since the 1700’s this great country had to fight for rights and freedom” Remember, your readers may not necessarily be American, so make sure you specify which country it is you’re referring to.
• “It’s been going through different era’s to understand the whole context you would have to study ad look through history all leading to the 1070 bill. “The United States has a long history leading to the 1070, one that must be understood in order to understand it’s context”.
Paragraph 2:
• I would find a synonym for ‘different things’, in others words, be more specific.
• “that would lead up to there” Up to where?
• “Let’s start in the 1860’s” “Beginning in the 1860’s…”
• Try combining your sentences so you have a fluent paragraph.
• “For our dear slaves running away and protests were really consequential” I wouldn’t refer to slaves as “our” slaves, it can be taken the wrong way.
• Specify your claims and facts by going more into depth with your statements. For example you stated “Our dear president.” How was the president in 1860?
• Talk about the 13th amendment, what did it do, how was it formed, etc.
• What do you mean by “whole thing”?
• “… and all of the slaves were free; or so they thought”.
• Find a synonym for ladies, like what was their organization called? Where they protestors? Were they referred to by a specific name? Maybe United States Women? Make sure you expand on your statement and give detailed information for your readers.
• “This protest was against giving them the right to vote due to all that” Do to all what?
• “Later after WWI, the issue of freedom within the African American community was being questioned due to some issues” What issues?
• “There were really good examples for the resistance like Rosa Parks, Malcom X, and the leader of all movements, Martin Luther King Jr.” This would be a fantastic opportunity to expand on the leaders and what they had accomplished and why their movement was so historically impactful, also, was Martin Luther King Jr. the leader of ALL movements?
• I would use transitions words to let the reader know when you are moving on to another historical event.
• Was 911 really about Immigrants or aliens that came to the United States?
• What is SB 1070? Who created it? What was it hoped to achieve? How would it achieve that? Was it successful?
Paragraph 3
• I don’t quite understand what you are saying in your first paragraph.
• Make sure you use comma’s in-between strikes, arguments, disagreements.
• Make sure you combine your sentences as well as use transitional words: “Most protests consist of strikes, arguments, and disagreements. However, there….”
• I would define protest and use a reference for that definition for your last sentence of your paragraph.
Final Paragraph
• Explain how the historic timeline you went over was a building block for the 1070 bill. For example, how did the Martin Luther King Jr. play a role in the buildup of the 1070 bill?
Questions: (Mike)
ReplyDelete1. Is the historical context elaborate enough to understand the protest and why it happened?
There were a lot of parts to it that I didn’t quite understand. I think you should expand more on the historical events and why the event itself was so critical in the buildup of the bill. Even explaining your bill in the first paragraph would make your paper a lot stronger.
2. Are the first two sections organization in a way that is the most effective and clear?
There were clear parts, however, I would definitely say the same things said in the first question. I would really expand on your statements more and don’t be afraid to explain your reasoning behind your statements more in depth. It will help the readers follow what you’re trying to say in your paper.
3. Is the distinction between historical and rhetorical context clear and does the distinction make sense?
I would utilize transition words more so that the distinction can be clearer.
4. Is the evidence used appropriate and effective?
There was not a lot of evidence to support your claim which you can use your references from you annotated bibliography to use for your historical context.
5. Is my rhetorical context section organized?
What I recommend is using a web to map out your thoughts and ideas before executing a final draft… if that makes any sense? Like, when I’m having trouble organizing my thoughts or trying not to stray away from my idea when I’m typing, I’ll organize an extensive, detailed web that literally shows me what I will be talking about, how I will be talking about it, what my claims are, what is my evidence to back up my claim, and how this ties in to my main idea.