Topic Strings

Original Paragraph:

Marcos came from a family that was self-made: his father, Mariano Marcos, began life as a teacher and ended life as a lawyer and politician (Goodno 52). Marcos was attracted to power from an extremely early age, becoming a lawyer just like his father, and marrying a daughter of a wealthy and well-known Catholic Filipino family. A member of one of the native religions originally, Marcos made sure to be baptized a Catholic before entering the realm of politics (Goodno 53). After multiple terms in the Filipino Congress, Marcos was elected president in 1965, amid rumors of bribery and corruption (Crisostomo 15). The low status of his upbringing came back to haunt him in the early days of his presidency because he was unable to gain the support of the truly elite in society. Feeling threatened by those who were in power against him, Marcos “wanted to co-opt or destroy all opposition” (Goodno 54). He achieved this early on by “shrewdly neutralizing the Lopez family, which controlled a sugar empire” (Goodno 54). The ownership of agriculture was a relevant and powerful symbol for wealth in the Philippines, so by asking the head of the Lopez family to be his vice president, Marcos set himself up to gain a powerful ally who brought “great influence and money” to the Marcos administration (Hill and Hill 4). 

Purpose of Paragraph:

The purpose of the paragraph is to describe Marcos’ motives for running for President and how he ultimately achieved election.

New Topic Sentence:

Ferdinand Marcos did not begin his political journey as part of the elite class of Filipino society.

Revised Paragraph:

Marcos came from a family that was self-made: his father, Mariano Marcos, began life as a teacher and ended life as a lawyer and politician (Goodno 52). Marcos was attracted to power from an early age, following in his father’s footsteps to become a lawyer and marrying a daughter of a wealthy and well-known Catholic Filipino family. Marcos was originally a member of one of the native Filipino religions, but he made sure to be baptized a Catholic before entering the realm of politics (Goodno 53). Following multiple terms in the Filipino Congress, Marcos was controversially elected President in 1965 despite rumors of bribery and corruption (Crisostomo 15). Unfortunately, he was initially unable to gain the support of the truly elite in society while President because of his low economic status and lack of connections as a young boy. Marcos wanted to “co-opt of destroy all competition” because he was threatened by those who were financially powerful (Goodno 54). To achieve this, Marcos “shrewdly neutraliz[ed] the Lopez family, which controlled a sugar empire” (Goodno 54). The patriarch of the Lopez family had “great influence and money” within Filipino society, so Marcos asked him to be his vice-president (Hill and Hill 4). As vice-president, Lopez acted as a powerful ally for Marcos and his future achievements.

Chart:

Topic Position	Stress Position
Marcos comes…	…that was self-made
His father….	…ended life as a layer and politician
Marcos was…	…becoming a lawyer and marrying a daughter of a…
Marcos was..	...baptized a Catholic before entering the realm of politics
... in the Filipino Congress, Marcos…	...elected despite rumors of bribery and corruption
Unfortunately, he was…	…low economic status and lack of connections…
Marcos wanted to…	...threatened by those who were financially powerful
To achieve this, Marcos…	...neutralized the Lopez family…
The patriarch of the Lopez Family…	…asked him to be vice-president
As vice-president, Lopez…	…acted as a powerfully ally for Marcos…

I focused on creating a mixed topic string for my paragraph.